Mom: I saw your post about those old knives. You like those things? Do you want these spoons?
Me: Oh, those are so nice! Yes, thanks!
Mom: (Critically.) They’re old.
Me: Yeah, but they’re pretty. I like the detail on them and they’re so delicate looking. Plus they have character.
Mom: (Slightly disapprovingly.) Hmm.
Me: Do you have any more like this, that you don’t want.
Mom: I did. A lot. I threw them out.
Me: (Disappointed.) Oh.
Mom: They were old.
Me: Yes.
I will make sure they always look old, in fact. They look nice and sinister that way.
